This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
