Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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