dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
