Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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