I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
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