He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
