Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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