Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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