big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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