so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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