Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
