I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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