White coat. Heels.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Pants are for mortals
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
