I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize