What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
