I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
