Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't deserve a penis
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
