Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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