he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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