You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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