I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Houston, we have a blender
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
