white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
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Less talking, more tequila
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
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WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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