I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
