She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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