brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
