I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
