my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
