no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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