I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
