also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
