Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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