I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
