I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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