You just made me feel so damn special
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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