TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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