There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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