for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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