I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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