Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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