"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize