thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
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Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This toilet bowl is my home.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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