TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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