Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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