I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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