Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
