You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
