I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize