it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I have post one night stand depression
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize