Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
