It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
