definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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