The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
