saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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