I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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