If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
