Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
this will be a night to untag.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
