I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
