That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
