I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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