You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
